At some point, you may have decided that you're comfortable enough in your spiritual path that you're ready to "come out of the broom closet." Chances are it's not a decision you've made lightly, because it's a pretty big step. After all, once you've "come out", you don't get to take it back if people don't like it. Certainly, we all want to be accepted by those we love and care about, but realistically we know there's a chance they might be upset, angry, or concerned once they find out we're Wiccan or Pagan.
First, you'll need to decide what you hope to gain by coming out. Do you just want to shock the neighbors and grandparents into thinking you're Spooky and Mysterious? On the other hand, maybe you feel like you're being less than honest with people in your life by not revealing your true beliefs. Or perhaps you're just tired of tiptoeing around and hiding who you are, and you're ready to be open about your path. Regardless, make sure that the benefits outweigh the possible repercussions.
Coming out to Family
You're the one who knows your family best, so you may be able to gauge how they're going to react. Is there a chance you could cause a lot of family discord by coming out? Will your spouse threaten to divorce you? Could you get kicked out of the house? Will each family dinner become an opportunity for siblings to throw Chick Tracts at you and scream that you're a sinner? Is it possible your kids might get picked on at school if word gets out that you're Pagan? These are possible results of coming out of the broom closet. Consider them carefully, and weigh it against your reasons for coming out in the first place.
If you've decided that coming out is the right choice for you, the obvious place to start is at home, where there are people who love you and care about you. The reason for this is twofold -- one, families tend to be more accepting than strangers, and two, how would you like it if mom and dad or your wife found out from someone other than you that you're Wiccan?
First, let them know there's something really important you need to discuss with them. Try to plan a time when there are no distractions -- and do plan ahead, so no one feels like you're trying to corner them or surprise them. Don't bring up the subject when you have half a dozen Wiccan friends sitting on your porch -- your family members will feel ambushed, and that's not a good way to start the conversation.
Before you actually have the Big Conversation, think about what you're going to say. As silly as this sounds, know what you believe. After all, if your family members ask you questions, you better be able to answer them if you want to be taken seriously. Make sure you've done your homework beforehand. They may want to know what you believe about God, reincarnation, spell work, or even if you hate Christianity now that you're Wiccan. Have an honest answer ready.
When you do sit down to finally have the Talk, focus on remaining calm. Depending on how conservative or religious your family members are, there's a possibility they might fly off the handle. They're entitled to - after all, you've just told them something they weren't expecting, and so the natural reaction to such a situation can be shock and anger for some people. No matter how much they yell, keep yourself from responding in kind. Keep your voice down -- this will do two things. First, it will show them that you are mature, and secondly, it will force them to stop yelling in order to hear what you have to say.
Make sure you focus on what your belief system is, rather than what it isn't. If you start the conversation with, "Now, it's not devil worship…" then all anyone will hear is the "devil" part, and they'll start worrying. You may even want to recommend a book for your parents to read so they can understand Wicca and Paganism a little better. One book aimed specifically for Christian parents of teens is When Someone You Love is Wiccan. It does include a few sweeping generalizations, but on the whole it provides a useful, positive Q&A format for people who are concerned about your new spiritual path. You might even want to print out this article and have it handy for them: For Concerned Parents.
The bottom line is that your family needs to see you're still the same happy and well-adjusted person you were yesterday. Show by the way you behave and conduct yourself that you're still a good person, despite the fact that you may have a different spiritual path than everyone else in the house.
